The following email was sent to me by a member of our wilder community. I found resonance in her correspondence because we all lose our mojo at times, buried by life’s shoulds. Today I write to help this individual, and in doing so, I hope to help all of us to find our mojo and live in alignment with our truth.
Q: …After injuries and then life struggles, my current problem is that I should be training for an event in October. I have your Training Planner and know I should have commenced a few weeks ago. But again, I am my own worst enemy and I am finding that I lack motivation. I am probably beyond hope and really, I guess this email is more about me offloading to share my struggles and frustrations. I guess what I was hoping you might be able to tell me is - How to get back on track? How do I get past feeling a little afraid to go out on my own again, even when I know I’m fine and I will love it? How do I find my motivation again to get the work done? How do I push myself to actually follow advice and a plan? Where do I start!?
Here is my reply:
Thank you so much for taking the time, energy and motivation to email me. I really do appreciate it and I am glad that you are able to enter such a vulnerable space. This is where so much growth comes from! There is so much that I want to say. But in an email that is very hard. However, I will tackle the biggest question that you ask, ‘How do I start?’
Well, just start, dropping the SHOULD mentality and reframing it with a COULD mentality. ‘What could I do tomorrow? Where could my feet take me? What experiences could I have in the morning? When I get home, what could my little reward be? How could my experience tomorrow morning empower my day ahead? How could this ignite my mojo?’
Do you notice the curiosity in all these questions? Can you sense you toes beginning to tingle as you think, ‘Yeah, wow! What couldtomorrow morning bring and where could that first step lead me?’
Secondly, there is no right or wrong. So, just start and may we never, ever SHOULD ourselves into a specific dream unless it totally makes our toes tingle! To avoid this trap, let’s step back again.
You have set yourself a ‘WHAT’ goal. That is, you have said to yourself, ’This race is what I will do in October’. Then, straight away, you are asking yourself, ‘How do I get there?’ This is a very black and white way of goal setting and often puts us on a pathway to doing something that we might not fully love. So, right now, let’s re-frame our way of thinking.
Before we ask, ‘how do I get there?’, instead ask, ‘WHY do I want to do this particular goal?’ From here your deeper motivations and values will manifest. For example, you might find yourself saying, ‘Because it will help me to find better health.’ Or you might decide, ‘Because I need an adventure.’ Or you might say, ‘Because I want to be more challenged.’ Or, ‘Running longer gives me confidence.’ Whatever the reason you come up with, write it down! Then ask yourself, ‘Why is health/adventure/challenge/confidence important to me right now?’ From here you will find your truth.
For example, when I ran the Pyrenees Mountains last year, my WHY was because I wanted to pursue something that I loved… unapologetically! I wanted to find Hanny at her wildest self, and in doing so, I found my truth.
When we reach our truth, we find so much excitement that we brim with energy. Someone will have to tie us up to slow us down. It doesn’t mean every day is easy. Far from it! It just means we are willing and excited to do the work.
Okay. So, now that we know our truth here is my next question…
‘If health/adventure/challenge/confidence is really what I seek, what if there was something else that could take me there and that I love even more? ‘What if I succeed? What if I fail?’
As we brainstorm all the other what if possibilities, we will begin to feel our toes tingling. Are you feeling your toes tingle? Guess what!? You have finally landed on a dream that is aligned to your truth! Now, doing the work or fearing failure will no longer frightens us. We won’t be stressed about reaching some magical finish line, but rather we will be itching to embark on, and experience, the journey ahead.
In the Pyrenees, I honestly started with no focus on reaching the Mediterranean Sea. It certainly excited me to get there, but if I failed in that pursuit then I knew deep down that I had still succeeded because ultimately, I was living my truth - being out in the mountains, unapologetically, doing what I loved best!
So, I might not have answered all of your questions. But I thank you for writing to me as I now wish to share my answer with everyone! Because we are all human and linked by the human experience - our mojo comes and goes, are wellbeing fluctuates at times, and sometimes we just feel a little buried in life’s SHOULDS.
Grow Wilder… it begins with one small seed.
P.S. Whenever you are ready... here are 4 ways I can help you grow wilder:
1. Grab a copy of The Trail Running Guidebook
It will highlight so many tips and tricks to help you to play & perform wilder. — Click Here
2. Download a Training Planner
With detailed daily training ideas, worksheets and links to further study, this will help you on the pathway to finding your feet and realising your wilder potential. --Click Here
3. Make a brew of tea and learn from my story - Finding My Feet: My Story
I have written my story to highlight how we are all on a pathway to finding our feet and growing wilder. Enjoy some quiet time to read my story. May it help you find your wilder side – Click Here
4. Work with me privately
If you would like to work directly with me... just send me a message and with the phrase “Growing Wilder”... tell me a little about what you would like to work on together, and I will reply with my thoughts. Please note, I am very selective about whom I coach and will only be able to take new clients when I have the capacity to do so.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.